I’m scared.

Fear. Why does it cripple us so much?

Bare with me. This is a bit of a personal post…..

“Detach yourself from your inner thoughts and demons and letting go of what might happen. Embrace the now.”

I am currently listening to the audiobook ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle, which was recommended to me by a friend, but it is a book which has been on my radar for a while.

Eckhart Tolle The power of now

I am not going to lie and say that it is an easy and enjoyable listen because it isn’t. It takes some degree of concentration to comprehend and there are parts of it which I have absolutely no idea what he is trying to say. It is also for this reason that I am not even going to attempt to try and tell you what it is about until I get a greater understanding of it myself.

However, there was one part of it which really resonated with me this morning. ‘FEAR.’ What is it, and why do we fear things? When you think about it, everything we fear is something which hasn’t happened. Something which is in the future. And something which we have absolutely no control over. So why do we fear so much? If we concern ourselves more with the present and what is happening right now, are we able to dispel these fears? It is a really interesting concept and something which I would like to explore further.

Runyon Canyon LA

I knew I had a lot of fears, but it wasn’t until I really started thinking about it that I realised just how many. I have spoken on numerous occasions how the fear of being ridiculed and not knowing everything actually stopped me from becoming a Personal Trainer for so long. I didn’t tell anybody about this blog for nearly 6 months for fear of people laughing at what I had to say. These are just a couple of recent ones which I have had to overcome.

I want to overcome even more. So I am going to share with you some of my biggest fears. I don’t know what sharing them will do, I am not after a reaction and I certainly don’t want people to say ‘Dont be silly you have no reason to worry about that.’ But some part of me thinks it is a good thing to do, so here goes. They are not in any sort of order. Just written down randomly as they came to me:

I fear growing old.

I fear losing my parents.

I fear not finding a boyfriend/husband and being lonely.

I fear my clients all leaving me.

I fear my clients feeling like they have wasted their money and time.

I fear not earning enough money.

I fear losing my friends through not seeing or communicating with them enough.

I fear that I was meant to move away and not stay in Scarborough.

I fear having regrets when I am too old to do anything about them.

I fear people laughing at and making fun of me.

I fear getting fat.

I fear that I don’t have enough knowledge to be in this line of work.

I fear that people don’t think I look like a Personal Trainer.

I know in my heart of hearts that I have no control over these so why do I fear them so much?

So now my focus has got to shift from fear to action. If I fear not earning enough money then I have to find ways of making sure it doesn’t happen. If I fear having regrets, then I have to take chances. If I fear clients leaving me, then I have to make sure I give them the best damn service I can provide so I know if it happens then I will have tried my hardest.

Abbot Kinney sunrise

Who knows what is around the corner? So why do we worry about it so much?

Fear is a strange one. It is something which I want to work towards conquering. I know it wont be easy, and I know it wont be an overnight job. I feel that by acknowledging it though is potentially the first step, and it is now up to me to put more plans in place to combat each and every one of them.

What are you afraid of? What can you do to overcome this fear?

Sorry if this seems a bit of a strange blog post today, but it was something which was on my mind and needed saying. I will report back on how I am getting on, as well as a proper review of the book soon!

Love Abi xxxx

January Blog a Day  10/31

6 Comments

  1. Caroline
    10th January 2017 / 7:26 pm

    Youre a brave and strong woman for posting this. Acknowledgement is a good start. But some then just need to be put to bed.
    Everyone has fears. I find fear to be in some cases a reflection of our own negativity. A sense of not feeling settled, happy, worthy of something. A good dose of self love and making the most of the now. 🙂

    Caroline.x

    • Abi
      10th January 2017 / 8:23 pm

      Thank you Caroline. Acknowledgement is a little step in the right direction. All about self love this year 🙂 xxxx

  2. 10th January 2017 / 7:28 pm

    I really enjoy reading your blog, you are very personable and if/when the time comes I want help to achieve my fitness goals I feel you would be the person I would turn too!!!
    I feel that people will find you very relatable 👍

    • Abi
      10th January 2017 / 8:22 pm

      Thank you so much michelle. It means a lot that you have taken the time to read and leave a comment. X

  3. Claire
    11th January 2017 / 10:36 pm

    I’ve read this book-it’s very good and very true. May need to revisit! Keep up the good work! x X X
    P.S Enjoy reading your blogs-back to the gym tomorrow- January is such a tough month when it’s cold and dark (excuses I know haha)

    • Abi
      12th January 2017 / 5:14 am

      I still have a couple of chapters left, but think I will probably have to re listen to it simply because there is so much to take in. Or maybe get a paper copy!
      January is defo tough but you can do it!!
      Thank you for taking the time to comment 🙂 xxx

Leave a Reply